Yell Practice: The Hunter

Now, as a senior I had two sons. Ron Bartch and John Ferris. So I had not one, but two charges to track down, and pull to the earth. And I discovered how much more fun it is to be the chaser rather than the chasee. And boy did I have fun. They'd try and get away. But I'd find 'em eventually, drag 'em down with a good tackle, and put them on the deck. They'd be down in the push up position, and I'd say, "So, I hear you are pondering my impending death (As a mentioned, death is a senior word and concept). And then they'd make a statement. Of course it was one of those disingenuous junior statements. Freshman statements are concise. They simply go:
"Mr. Hay, sir, may we have permission to make a statement, Sir?"
"It is not our privilege to know death, Sir!"

As I said, simple and direct. The junior sons of mine would go on (as I had myself as a junior). They'd state, "Oh, I don't know anything about death, or dying, or your being dead, or how you're about to die, or anything like that, Rich." Such genuine remorse. How could I hold anything against such prodigies? Easy. And the playful dialogue game would go on. "So you guys are ready to be Zips (seniors)?" I'd ask. "Oh, we don't know anything about being Zips, or how we are almost Zips, or having Senior Boots, and spurs, or walking on the grass, or any of that Elephant kind of stuff, Rich". Angels, I tell you. Well, not only did I take these two characters down at every yell practice, I enjoyed taking down those turkeys.

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Copyright © Richard Hay 1998