Payback is Hell

Revenge is a dish best served cold (or hot as the case may be)

True story from spring of '72.

During the spring of my fish year, we BQs had just returned to the quad area after some sort of "pass-by" on the main drill field (Mother's Day?). Although a "leper colony" (Dorm 9) fish, I returned to Dorm 11 to hang out with some fish buds.

I was in a fish bud's hole (first floor) facing the Band Drill Field when the commander of 6th Battalion led his entire outfit (still in full dress following the pass-by) in double time across the Band Drill Field!!!

We were stunned!!!

Myself and a couple of other fish managed to recover in time to fill some buckets and chase down (and douche) a few Six-Bats in the rear, but the gauntlet was down.

After a late night meeting of combined band staff, Mr. (Scott) Sprowles '73 was designated "Retaliation Sergeant" and ordered to form a detail to reclaim our honor. Scott was selected because he had become drinking buddies with the Dorm 11 custodian, and his plan required access to the steam tunnels. The Retaliation Detail was selected by Scott, and was to include Scott, two piss-heads, and six fish (myself included).

The following Wednesday night (actually Thursday morning), we formed up in Scott's room at 3:00 a.m. The nine of us entered the steam tunnel at 3:15 a.m. (entrance key courtesy of the custodian) and made our way to Dorm 5 (Six-Bat Dorm). Each of us (excluding Scott) carried only the following in a pillowcase:

  1. Two screwdrivers (one flat, one phillips)
  2. Two car floor mats (Plastic).
  3. Two 10+ pound weights (rocks, anything).
  4. A large container of mud.

When we arrived under Dorm 5, Scott cut off all water to the dorm, and the other eight of us exited the steam tunnel and quickly moved to our assigned crapper (mine was stoop three, north end). Once in our assigned crapper, each of us performed the following set-up.

  1. Turned on (only) the hot water spigot on all showers and sinks.
  2. Plugged each of the sink drains with the mud.
  3. Placed the plastic mats (and weights) over each of the two (2) drains in the crapper.
  4. Removed (using the screwdrivers) all sink and shower water handles.
  5. Put the handles in the pillow case, and returned to the steam tunnel.

When the last man made it back to the steam tunnel; Scott re-locked the door, and turned on (only) the hot water to the dorm. We busted ass back to Dorm 11 through the steam tunnels.

Although none of got to see it, reports had over six inches of scalding hot water cascading down all of the stairwells and covering the ground floor of Dorm 5 before someone got the steam tunnel door open and the hot water turned off. A few minor burns were suffered by "brave" Six-Bats who left their bunks and were the first to enter the crappers and attempt to turn off the water. I often wonder if any one figured out to pull up the car mats.

J. W. (Bill) Stroud '75

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